We all have those days.
The ones where the morning starts with spilled cereal, the toddler refuses to wear pants, and you’re already counting down to bedtime before 9 a.m.
You find yourself snapping over the smallest things, feeling disconnected, and wondering, “Is this what parenting is supposed to feel like?”
If this resonates, you might be parenting from survival mode.
Survival mode isn’t a reflection of your love or commitment as a parent. It’s a state where chronic stress takes the driver’s seat, and you’re just trying to make it through the day.
What Is Survival Mode in Parenting?
Survival mode is when your nervous system is perpetually on high alert. It’s the fight, flight, or freeze response becoming your default setting.
In this state, parenting feels less like nurturing and more like managing a never-ending to-do list.
You’re reacting instead of responding, and joy feels just out of reach.
7 Signs You Might Be in Survival Mode
1. You’re constantly on edge.
Small things—like a misplaced toy or a spilled drink—trigger big reactions.
2. Everything feels like a battle.
Simple tasks become power struggles, and cooperation feels elusive.
3. You’re emotionally numb or overwhelmed.
You oscillate between feeling everything intensely and feeling nothing at all.
4. Basic self-care is neglected.
Meals are skipped, sleep is fragmented, and personal needs are consistently unmet.
5. You feel isolated.
Even when surrounded by people, you feel alone in your parenting journey.courtneyjohannesen.com
6. Guilt is a constant companion.
You question your reactions and worry about their impact on your children.
7. Joy feels inaccessible.
Moments that used to bring happiness now feel burdensome or routine.
What to Do About It: Gentle Steps Toward Reconnection
1. Acknowledge your current state without judgment.
Recognizing that you’re in survival mode is the first step toward change.
2. Prioritize basic needs.
Ensure you’re eating, hydrating, and resting as much as possible.
3. Seek connection.
Reach out to friends, family, or support groups. Sharing your experiences can alleviate feelings of isolation.
4. Incorporate small moments of mindfulness.
Even a few deep breaths or a short walk can help regulate your nervous system.
5. Set realistic expectations.
Let go of perfection. Aim for “good enough” and celebrate small victories.Mesa County Libraries+2courtneyjohannesen.com+2Cardiovascular Institute of the South+2
6. Reflect on your triggers.
Understanding what sets off your stress responses can help in developing coping strategies.
7. Embrace repair over perfection.
When missteps happen, focus on reconnecting and repairing the relationship with your child.
Parenting from survival mode doesn’t define you. It’s a signal that you need support, rest, and compassion—both from others and yourself.
By taking small, intentional steps, you can move from merely surviving to truly connecting with your children and yourself.
Additional Resources:
- 3-Minute Emotional Reset Audiocourtneyjohannesen.com+1courtneyjohannesen.com+1
- Rewire Your Parenting Reactions Coursecourtneyjohannesen.com
These tools are designed to support you in your journey toward more mindful and connected parenting.
You’re not alone, and with compassion and support, change is possible.
Additional Resources:
These tools are designed to support you in your journey toward more mindful and connected parenting.
You’re not alone, and with compassion and support, change is possible.
